Relevant to: perfectionism, fear of failure, fear of being judged, can't finish projects, seeking approval, self sabotage, RTT for perfectionism, hypnotherapy for procrastination
"Kate, sorry I haven't been back in touch. I have been so busy. I have finished and delivered my programme. It's out there and I'm really happy with it, more than happy with it. The relief I had when I finally went live was immense.
I've now gotten really clear on how I am moving forward so I've been able to declutter some of the other works in progress as I know which way I am moving now with full focus. Nothing is going to stop me. Thank you so much for getting me back on track after feeling stuck for so many years."
Client feedback at 5 months post-session
The presenting situation
This client had ideas, capability and drive. But she could not get work over the finish line. Every time she got close to completing something, fear took hold and the project was abandoned. If you find yourself with a graveyard of almost-finished projects, starting strong and losing momentum as soon as the end is in sight, this pattern will resonate.
What the session uncovered
In regression, she visited a memory from age ten of having worked exceptionally hard, finishing the school maths syllabus a year early. She felt genuinely proud. One parent was impressed. It felt good - she had found the formula for approval.
A later memory showed her brother taking over a homework project she had been enjoying. He completed it, she received an A grade, and her father showed visible disapproval that she had received a top mark for someone else's work. The approval she had worked so hard to earn was now complicated by someone else's involvement.
The most significant memory was receiving her GCSE results. She had done exceptionally well. Her father checked and rechecked the results sheet as though he could not quite believe they were hers. He congratulated her, but it cost him visible effort. He began comparing her results with others. Within days, news coverage suggested that year's grades had been marked too leniently, and her father agreed. Months of hard work deflated in a moment.
She recognised in the session that this was the point she stopped trying. If exceptional effort could be knocked down that easily, the risk was not worth it. Better to be criticised for not trying than to give everything and have it diminished anyway.
The pattern that had followed her into adult life: work very hard toward a goal, then become overwhelmed by fear of delivery, because getting diminished either way felt inevitable.
What shifted
She was able to see that she had been seeking approval from someone constitutionally unable to give it, and that this had nothing to do with the quality of her work. She reconnected with her own genuine capability and her natural drive to finish things, and made a decision to become her own measure rather than waiting for an external verdict that was never going to come.
The session focused on separating her relationship with her parents from her professional life, building an internal encourager in place of the critical voice, reactivating the satisfaction of completing work and releasing it, and helping her see that a delivered body of work, even imperfect, is the only way to build the reputation she was after.